The Hairdresser

Karen has the worst haircut out of all her friends. Karen has potentially the worst haircut in the whole world. Her haircut is so bad she can’t even wear a hat with it, because then it would look like she is trying to cover something up and she isn’t that secretive, that sly, not really.
Her haircut has bald patches and short bits and long bits. She acquired this particular haircut when in a moment of distress of the monotony of life she seized the scissors and let her hand loose on her hair.
Karen has the worst haircut out of all her friends because Karen is silly but Karen is also a liar.
She is a liar because she tells people that she went to a hairdresser for this cut. The hairdresser said to Karen that she would look good like this and pulled her hair away from the sides of her face and flopped it in front of her eyes. The hairdresser took Karen’s hair and said, darling with long drawn out aaahhhs and looked bored and pretty all at once. The hairdresser said “daahling, you would look fabulous like this” and flamboyantly threw her hair around.
Karen tells everyone she said yes to the terrible haircut because she was taken with the aura of the shop and the smell of dye and bleach in the air. She said yes because wanted to be as equally charismatic and bored as the hairdresser.
She said yes because she wanted to throw her hands in the air and go crazy with wild intent and have crazy wild hair that went with her new character. Karen said yes because her hair was mousy brown but she felt always meant to be red, fiery red that connoted the character of the most craziest of characters, the craziest character of characters. She sighed a sigh of contentment and said yes, yes please, you have so captured the essence of me, make me what you want me to be. When she said “me to be” she said that slowly and drew out each sound so that it was more important and the hairdresser would know what an important occasion this was. So very important for this character of characters.
The hairdresser nodded with solemn intent and seemed to understand what this meant, and like a high priestess she ceremoniously held the scissors above her head before she plunged to cut the first cut. “That disastrous cut” as Karen says.
Karen told this lie so that no one would know that she wanted to be someone else and that her hair was her character personified, spoken loudly through a loudspeaker. That what it told everyone was that she was boring and dull and mousy brown. She told this lie because she wished it was true. She told everyone loudly that hairdressers were good for nothing, that they knew less than nothing. She denounced the hairdressing occupation as a whole to save face and look like she was taken in by the lie as opposed to a perpetrator of the lie.
Karen is a liar and a bit sly. Karen has the worst haircut out of all her friends, Karen has potentially the worst haircut in the whole world.