A Job

“What do you think are your strengths?”
“my strengths” I say to buy some time “well my strengths are… my strengths are fortitude” I don’t really know what this means but I think it sounds smart and also something that would be good to have as a strength. Superman has probably got fortitude written on his CV under strengths and under goals he probably has saving the world. If superman was applying for a job he might not be hired because he would come under the category of over-qualified. You need to be a shit eater if you really want a job and it is doubtful if Superman is a shit eater. I think about telling her that I am a shit eater but I don’t think she appreciates honesty like that and swearing in an interview doesn’t come across to well unless you say “hell yeah!” to something and that’s excused because of your apparent enthusiasm. Hell isn’t really a swear anyway.

She asks “when is a time that you have shown leadership?”
I think about this for a bit or I look like I am but really I think about not wanting this job and how if I worked here I would have to work with her and I am not sure I can deal with that. She has a horrible mauve coloured top on and her hair is short and blonde and she looks butch and is really quite fat, obese even. She looks like she takes her job much too seriously. I somehow give her an answer and finish the interview soon after. As I walk out the office building I hope that I don’t get the job.

I do need the money though, fuck I hope I get the job.

I go home and go to sleep even though its only 3 in the afternoon. Its 3 in the afternoon and I don’t really want to think about anything so I go to sleep and instead I dream.

Dreaming is so much nicer than thinking because it doesn’t take as much effort. My mum rings about 7, it wakes me up and I feel so lazy that I don’t answer the phone. I ring her back after about 20 minutes of just lying in bed. I don’t know what she wants but I know it’s not just a phone call to ask if I’m ok, because my mum isn’t one of the types of mums who does that. She only rings if she wants something. I call her and she tells me that my sister and her partner are going to dinner at her house and “if you want you should come over” her voice heavy with emotional blackmail. I’m pretty sure I’ll regret not going later so I say yes, Ill be over in an hour.

It felt wrong to be getting out of bed then so I closed my eyes again. I started to remember the dream I was having I can’t remember it now but it was comforting for me to be able to recall it then. It was like making a mould of your own hand and putting your hand back into the mould every now and then. That at least there is one place that you fit in so perfectly.

I wake up after another 40 minutes and guiltily got out of bed and went to Mum and Dad’s house. We had to wait for an hour or so for dinner to cook so I suggested we play Cluedo. I don’t think I should have because it became competitive, I didn’t think Cluedo was a very competitive game. Dinner was nice and then I went home.

The next day the woman from the job called to tell me I got the job. I am a shit eater after all. And fortitude will be needed the day after next.